I am more than my Marital Status

I start out by exclaiming at the top of my lungs, "I am more than a Single Mormon," even if it doesn't seem evident in the title of this blog.

As a young adult who has grown up a Latter-day Saint, I've been exposed to marriage and family since I was a 5-year-old. It's been so deeply ingrained into my psyche that I could almost express the desire for an eternal companion and lively seed over the pulpit (luckily, I will not). I have seen so many friends as they engage, endure and enthusiastically enjoy marriage (Plus-4 alliteration!) that I feel I've almost become an expert on the subject, despite have no experience of my own.

That's what makes the common question and greeting, "Why aren't you married yet?" so enraging. It's like asking a blind man, "Why can't you see that beautiful sunset?" or begging a deaf girl to "Just pay attention to the beautiful chords in this concerto."

You've seen how I feel about various counsel from the Brethren regarding marriage and family. President Monson has implored us. Elder Scott has mercifully deluged us. It seems to be a reoccurring them — not just at General Conference and weekly sacrament meetings — but in CES Firesides, Institute devotionals and other forums of religious learning.

It was even the issue of a marvelous submitted Editorial to the Salt Lake Tribune. And that a  Mormon from outside the Mormon Corridor would take the time to submit his prose to one of the two most influential newspapers in Utah says this is becoming a hot topic of interest around the worldwide church.

My married friends constantly wonder how they can help me "to become married." That's not something I like discussing. It makes me feel inferior to them, simply because I have not yet had the opportunity to seriously court, engage and wed an eternal companion. But I am so much more than my marital status, and so is every young single adult in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Acknowledging us for what we are not diminishes the qualities that we currently possess. Many of us are career-laden, active in charitable and community organizations, and important pieces of various networks in our cities and towns. I've seen lawyers, doctors, teachers, athletes, homeowners, businesspeople and even — gasp — journalists, who are still in bachelorhood.

In other words, we are not all social miscreants who play video games all day, live in our parents' basements and gorge ourselves on Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

If you really want to know how you can help us, this is a good place to start. I know the publication is from an eternity ago (aka 2004), but Bro. Brough's advice is still relevant today.

The following statement made it past church curriculum, so I'm assuming it to be doctrinally sound: "Because many married people found their spouse at an early age, they might not fully appreciate the fact that for others, finding the right partner does not come so soon or so easily." 

Do not assume that what worked during your days of dating and courtship will translate to your single friend or family member; the beauty of the gospel is that God has a plan for each individual. The value of living Prophets and Apostles is that the Lord can continually re-evaluate the counsel He has given to His people. The glory of personal revelation is that we can all receive answers to our soul-burdening questions in our own ways and in their own time.


My single status is not a communicable disease, like leprosy or skin boils. Singles of the church do not need to be ostracized, but rather loved and embraced, regardless of how long it may take us to receive the full blessings of eternity.


#IAmMoreThanMyMaritalStatus

NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK:

Here's a great story from a single convert to the church. This young man is more than a number, more than a statistic, and most importantly, more than a marital status.

'He is not here: for He is Risen.'

It's Easter morning as I type this, but I can't see bunny rabbits, tall strands of green grass or hidden eggs in front yards, waiting for delighted children to find them and crack them open for candy hidden inside.

Instead, all I can hear is silence. The silence, as if of a graveyard, with none around but those who slumber and wait for that greatly anticipated day of resurrection.

Fitting, I suppose.

For on this Sunday, the world celebrates the greatest miracle ever known. On this special day, exactly 1,979 years ago, the Son of God was raised from the dead — his mortal putting on immortal — in power and glory, that we might be able to follow him and do the same.

Many look for signs of Christ in remembering his suffering in a garden called Gethsemane, or on a cross overlooking a hill named Golgotha — 'Place of the Skull.' But just as an angel of the Lord announced on this day more than two millenia ago, "Here is not here: for HE IS RISEN." Christ is not in the cross; he is not on Golgotha; he doesn't not wait for us as the spirits which look "forward with an eye of faith, and view this body being raised in immortality." Rather, Christ lives; He is not in the symbols of death that enshroud the Christian world's concept of this sacred holiday, but rather in the symbols of Spring time — rebirth, resurrection, and new beginnings. Even as a caterpillar emerges from its cocoon as a butterfly, or a duckling breaks free of its entrapment from within that which once held its form, so too has Christ broken free of the shackles of sin and death.

And he has promised us that we can, too.

The miracle of Easter is not only in His returning from death and sin; it is that we all may do likewise. Even as we try to follow and emulate the Savior, the Son of God and the Master, we can do as He did. Where is the sting of death? Yea, it is swallowed up in Christ Jesus.

May we all remember the true meaning of Easter, even as we contemplate Him who first celebrated it so long ago.

Marriage is What Brings Us Here Today

'Twas a special weekend in April, and not just because the weather here in fabulous Las Vegas was gorgeous. This weekend marked another year's passing with the 181st Annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a special weekend for me, and more than 14 million Mormons around the globe, as we listened to the inspired counsel of Prophets and Apostles, leaders of the church who preside and guide the daily affairs of the Lord's kingdom on Earth.
This one hurt, though.
There are three talks that mentioned the dreaded 'M' word, specifically, and several more that pointedly struck me at several spots, prompting me to cower at my inabilities and wince at my many imperfections. I'm talking, of course, about Marriage (because "Marr-waige is what bwings us two-get'er today"). In particular, a Prophet of God, President Thomas S. Monson called me out.
Two of his Apostles, Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Elder Richard G. Scott, also called me out. One spoke of having a desire to marry. The other used his death-stare to subdue me into dating "those poor sisters in the church." Then, to top it off, Elder D. Todd Christofferson came out to tell me not to murmur, but to accept correction with humility and gratitude.
I know what you're thinking: there's no way he knew he was calling you out specifically. And maybe he wasn't. But in the Saturday evening Priesthood session (for male members of the church), President Monson took a dramatically obtuse tone in directing his remarks to young single adult men in the church around my age — those who had gone through life "just having fun" and "enjoying being single" without "putting any real thought or effort into marriage."
"Nothing in this life will give you greater happiness than marriage," President Monson said. Sounds simple enough, right? It gets better. He then quoted former President Harold B. Lee.
"You are not living up to your priesthood if you purposefully put off marriage to a righteous woman in the House of God."
OUCH! I was struck. I had always considered myself a solid, faithful, active Mormon who fulfilled his priesthood responsibilities (with the occasional Home Teaching gaffe, sure, but who doesn't?) and magnified his calling. Yet because of my reluctance to dive into the forbidden, scary and outright intimidating world of dating, courtship and marriage, I wasn't living up to my promises. I was — in many ways — denying my covenants, and forfeiting blessings that could be had — whether I find true love or not.
Three talks. Three specific examples in which the general church leadership admonished young single men to "get with the program" and focus on finding — or creating — an eternal family. It hurts. It stings. It's the sharpest admonition I've ever received.
I guess I have a lot of work to do. Sigh.


NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK
To lighten things up a bit, here's a video made by a BYU student ward about courtship and marriage. How long is too long? How short is too short? This answers it all (well, sort of).

Building on a Sure Foundation

It's definitely been far too long since I updated here. I'm sure both of my followers are saddened and dejected, too.

I was watching an episode of "Glee," recently (yes, I do watch that show; and yes, I do enjoy it. If you can't understand that, then it's probably best we never speak again), and I was amused by the value of the "Comeback" episode [aka the "Bieber-licious mock-up"] regarding Gospel principles.

Throughout the episode, Rachel is trying to regain her status as "Top Diva" at McKinley High, and she spends an exorbitant amount of time and energy attempting to be a trend setter. Eventually, her fashion for unicorn sweaters and librarian skirts catches on at the school, but it's not attributed to her — the rejuvenation of a trend once seen as early as the 1940's.

At the beginning of the ep, Rachel attempts to make leggings "the new fashion at WMHS." She enlists Brittany in this quest, but the ditzy-blonde cheerleader wears them on her arms — a trend that becomes "all the rage" at the high school. Interestingly enough, this trend was actually a popular fashion in the 1980's, a fact likely lost by most of Glee's target audience of post-1990 babies.

The rest of the episode droned on and on about Justin Bieber, as girls routinely went ga-ga over his "music" and guys continually obsessed over it to impress them. The cycle perpetuated, until no one was really certain how any trend began.

Contrast that to the Gospel. Although the standards professed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are not as popular as Justin Bieber in the late aughts, or arm-leg-warmers in the 80's, they are nevertheless true and will bless the lives of all those who follow them.

Fashion and trendiness comes and goes. But when we build our lives on the Rock, which is Christ the Lord, we establish a foundation that will keep our houses strong when the storms come and the rains of life pelt us with an unwavering storm.

No matter what fashion or society say about it, the Gospel remains true — a sure and constant guide for all who follow its path.

NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK
One of the many fabulous videos of the church's official "Meet the Mormons" project. This one made me tear up a bit the first time I watched it.

Enjoy!

Happy Single Holidays

I've been trying really hard to remember the true meaning of Christmas this Holiday season.
I promised myself I wouldn't get caught up in the hustle-and-bustle of the holidays in newspaper-land. Nor would I overwhelm myself with Christmas shopping, an abundance of gifts or stresses that don't relate to the birth of our Saviour.
To start, I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music. That's one of the things I love about this time of year: the tunes. It's not just the hymn-based ballads proclaim the birth of Kings and proclamations of angels, either. I love everything that reminds me of the holidays, whether it be through red men in suits, shiny-nosed reindeer, frosted snowmen, Grandma's house in the woods or anything of the like.
But most importantly, I love being able to think of Christ the whole time.
On the Sunday before Christmas, my Singles Ward had every LDS ward's annual Christmas Sacrament Program. The spirit was immense, and the choral performances were modest, yet well-intentioned. I've complained in the past about my ward choir being a bit too ambitious in song selection, and throwing off the rhythm and spirit of the occasion. But yesterday their choices were spot on, and I found shivers running down my spine on multiple occasions.
The stake also offered a Youth Christmas Fireside that night. Normally, I avoid full stake activities, since I belong to a family stake, and attending activities with families makes me feel inadequate and overly cognizant of my 'single' status. It's not that I don't appreciate the church's role and influence on the family; it's merely that I don't like being perpetually reminded — even when unintentional — that I am an outsider in most Mormon halls. After all, I'm closer to 30 than 20, and I haven't come close to finding an eternal companion.
But last night was different.
The music was phenomenal. Certainly, some of the performers were traditional youth musicians — those who sing or play an instrument only because their parents force it on them. But there were equally as many — perhaps more — who had true talent, and some who I can see using their talents in brilliant ways throughout their lives.
I was reminded at every turn of the Babe Born in a Manger, of whom this holiday season pertains. I was also reminded that He was more than a child; he was our Saviour, our Redeemer and the literal Son of God — born of the Father in Heaven and an earthly mother, the only one capable of laying down his life and taking it up again so that we all might do the same someday.
As our hearts and minds turn to Him as this week progresses, and as the stresses and tremors of the season begin to weigh us down, I pray that we not only remember that blessed day more than two millenia ago when he was born — but also the even more blessed day when he was reborn, freed from the Garden Tomb that held his corporeal form for three days.
Christ Lives; I know he does. And because of him, we will all live again.

Merry Christmas!

NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK:

Merry Mormon Christmas

The mic went out today while the Elders blessed the sacrament.
It didn't matter. 
The solemn quiet and reverent echo of the Priesthood holders' words were enough to focus my mind on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. No crying children. No texting youth. No impatient YSA slithering his head atop his shoulders in cosmic Mormon mating ritual. The chapel felt like it was me, alone, with only my thoughts of Christ to accompany me.

Yet another reason why I'm reluctant to leave the singles' ward.


Speaking of Christ ...
The Christmas season is upon us. What better time to refocus our thoughts and efforts on the Savior? I love the gift-giving, the holiday ham and the constant aroma of pine trees to the utmost extreme. But I also love the opportunity to remember the birth of Him who was foreordained — from the foundation of the world — to save us from our sins. 
Because of the babe born in a lowly manger two thousand and ten years ago, we can repent and draw ourselves to God. 

He lives. He is the Light of the World. May we all come closer to Him to whom this holiday belongs.

Merry Christmas

NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK

To get you into the true spirit of the holiday season, a spirit unencumbered with credit card balances and discount shopping, here's a message from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In celebrating the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ, our thoughts turn to that sacred occasion when He was born "The Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6). He promised: "He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (John 8:12). Truly, Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer who was "wounded for our transgressions … and with his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:5).

Our prayer this Christmas season is that the light and testimony of the Savior's divine mission will come into our hearts and be reflected in our lives and in our homes.

May each of us be blessed, not only at this Christmas season, but also throughout the coming year. May our faith in Jesus Christ increase as we follow His example in all we do and say.

--Thomas S. Monson, Henry B. Eyring, and Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

Preach My Gospel for More than Missionary Work

It's been a while since I last posted. OK; it's been a long while.

But today proved to be a good time for a post, with another Young Adult Fireside by the Church Education System. The Nov. 7 address was from Elder M. Russell Ballard, a member of the LDS Church's Quorum of Twelve Apostles and head of the church's missionary department. Naturally, I assumed he would talk about sharing the Gospel. But his remarks took a slightly different turn (don't worry; there were still plenty of missionary themes).

Elder Ballard quoted many sections of the church's missionary guide "Preach My Gospel," but also applied them to life outside of missionary work, such as helping YSA's endure to the end (a difficult concept, as most of us are stuck in a family-oriented church with little hope of ever starting our own). But as we apply the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel (namely faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism and the sacrament, and using the gift of the Holy Ghost), the Lord will help us endure and resolve our daily challenges.

Maintaining faith in Christ can help us steer clear of Satan's grasp. "Unlike the fisherman that catches and releases, Satan will not let go of those in his grasp. His goal is to make us as miserable as him," Elder Ballard said.

Daily repentance turns our mind to God. It's a part of our baptismal covenant, which we are reminded every Sunday includes a promise to always remember the Savior. One of the greatest lessons learned by one of Elder Ballard's missionaries in Canada was the lesson to constantly think of the Savior, even as much as everything else in the world captures our thoughts. "I have learned to give the Lord equal time," the missionary said, reminding us to do the same thing with our daily routines. Daily prayer and scripture study also help us maintain focus on Christ.

It's also important for the YSA crowd to study the doctrines of the Gospel, because we will be the ones tasked with leading the church during a period of unprecedented growth. Even as the church has grown an enormous amount over the past 50 years, the new wards, stakes, districts and branches will need leadership as they continue to progress in the Gospel. "You are they; I'm speaking to them right now. You have to be ready," Elder Ballard told the crowd.

Feeling the Spirit, as I did strongly during the final hymn sung by the Logan Institute YSA Choir's stirring rendition of "Our Savior's Love," will also provide us with a taste of God's greatest gift — even the gift of eternal life. I want to be able to enjoy that gift. And to do so, I have to consistently apply the basic principles of the Gospel: faith; repentance; remembering my baptismal covenants weekly through the sacrament; and learning to recognize and heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

As we do these things, we are sure to find joy in this life and eternal life in the world to come.

NEW MEDIA OF THE WEEK:
In honor of the Nov. 7 CES Fireside (viewable here), I'll post the YouTube video of Elder Scott's fireside a month ago, which you might remember left a stirring impression on my single-stricken soul. Come, listen to a Prophet's voice.